another day of nonstop rain. san francisco's weather has been far from welcoming. the locals, however, have been incredibly warm upon my return. one in particular, daniel homsey, director of the mayor’s office of neighborhood services, was so happy to have me back in the city that he offered me an internship...well, partnership in his words.
the mission - immerse myself in his neighborhood empowerment network through interviews, pushing envelopes, and getting the point across to several big wigs in this city that the underprivileged are in need... myself included. daniel has also offered to help me find a part time job...somewhere...anywhere... it's about time i started making money. it's been... ...a while... and what better time to start working for peanuts than while simultaneously working on your master's thesis! a major selling point is the idea that i would get to walk into "work" and get to see this: grand staircases, wedding ceremonies and incredible scultpures. i'm a romantic, it's embarrassing but true.
on a lighter note, california sucks. and here's why-
when i first came back to my chilly, ant/flea ridden apartment, i was greeted with a letter entitled: DENIAL: California Residency for tuition purposes. it later goes on to read that i have not indicated any intention on ever wanting to stay in california post schooling. this sadly puts a damper on my alaskan adventure: i was hoping to use my saved money for a trip to alaska to perform in a piece, present my study and see the many sights.
im currently working on an appeal letter to prove my intentions in the much-less-than-golden-state. here goes nothing...
when i "crash" landed during the peak of the december 09 nor'easter, i was hoping that it wouldn't have been a preview for what the next four weeks would be like: dizzying and turbulent. thankfully, i was able to get a grip on land and enjoy my time away from earthquakes and deadlines.
i came with christmas gifts, a limited wardrobe for a cold climate and objectives.
- i had to "convince" my folks into taking me to benitos II on mulberry street - i had to "convince" robin murphy into getting some fresh mozzarella from my favorite little deli in hoboken - i had to "convince" my friends into carting me over to a particular jersey diner for a fried egg sandwich with fresh tomatoes. - i had to "convince" sarah murphy into getting a slice of pizza from benny tudino's and every other pizza place in manhattan - i had to "convince" nova roman into a pilgrimage to new brunswick for a slice of pizza... a few times.
let's call this section the "san francisco offers disappointing italian food so michael felt it necessary to beg anyone with a car to take him to his favorite italian places" i'm not ashamed.
-new york new york new york - see the tim burton exhibit at the moma
- try to hold back tears upon seeing jack skellington in the ...flesh? (i don't think i actually achieved this goal. i welled up quite a bit. i regret nothing.) - visit family, friends and check in on how the east coast has been. - totally appreciate the gifts from everyone this year. - have heart to hearts with particular loved ones. - go on a mini vacation during my vacation. a weekend in the country, let's call it. we went to the poke a nose... this joke has probably been done millions of times, but it's my turn now.
it was a winter wonderland
i showed some of the courageous kids how to be like jesus and walk on water.
there was also fort construction and demolition...
...face painting...
...some light reading...
... and extreme sledding. the boys team clearly won.
as if my month long stay wasn't already incredible, my last day was spent with tons of friends, family and food. the trip really climaxed on the last night when my family and i danced together in the great room. it was a first for all of us...and it was perfect.
i left feeling rejuvenated and ready for another round of san fran-chaos.
for my last final of the year, i was given the opportunity to tap into my performance background and put together a piece to go along with my analysis paper of the semester's lessons. the students were all given the opportunity to construct a performance about anything they found interest in.
i definitely have had something on my mind that i wanted to discuss. healthcare.
as you may or may not know, i have been living with crohn's disease for a decade now and have been on quite a selection of medications. i've come a long way, baby.
for my performance, i tapped into my experimental theatre and performance art training to develop a multi-media personal narrative through autoethnographic research methods.
the piece was in five movements, each separated by taking four pentasa pills that i used to take throughout the day...only this time the pills were emptied of their contents now that i no longer take them.
the piece began with me entering my bedroom on the telephone, apologizing to a friend for leaving their party before they had arrived because of crohn's related issues (something i've done quite frequently). i then took my first dose of pills.
the second movement of the piece was a video that played behind me. the video was a recorded phone conversation i had with a telephone operator who worked for a health insurance company that provided my latest medication, humira. the conversation was about how i would soon be without health insurance, why the medication costs 1500-1800 dollars a month, and if anyone was able to stop taking the drug. she of course was doing her job and explained that no research had been done on long term patients that stopped taking the medication, that their plan could help provide cheaper costs for the injection therapies for a year and that i should talk to my doctor about what to do (a thought i never had before). all the while i stood in front of the video footage and removed my clothes, revealing a hospital gown underneath my layers and put a surgical mask over my mouth. i then took another dose of medication.
the third movement started with me removing my mask and speaking in a cheerful tone while reenacting a humira commercial, indicating the risk factors (hospitalization, infections, death) of using the product. i also warned that these risks were amplified when taking other medications like the one i have been taking with it for the past year and a half, mercaptopurine. i then take mercaptopurine and tell the audience to call their doctor right away if they have an infection or show any sign of an infection as humira greatly reduces their immune system and can put you in harms way. i then dump out my old humira pens from a bag and take another dose of pentasa, ending the third movement.
the fourth movement is an actual monologue i recorded from when i went to a doctor's office to elaborate on my troubles. with my legs swinging on the high table, i told them about the varied effects ive felt from the humira and medications and how i have felt cheated from starting a trial of humira to now needing it to survive over a year and a half later. i then picked up a painting i had done which when i get angry at my pills one day and used it to playfully describe the way my stomach felt to the audience.i then took another dose of pills and ended the fourth movement.
the fifth and final movement was by far the best way to end this piece. to the tune of gold panda's ironically titled "quitter's raga" i stared directly into the audience and gave myself an injection of humira, a personal triumph as i had always been reluctant to let others watch. it was painful, it was violent and it was a moment i gather they would rather not have seen. they were able to understand the same angry and helpless thoughts that i get each time i reach for the latest injection. pure poetry. the lights then went off and i layed in bed, ending the fifth and final movement.
it was a sight to be seen and an incredible personal victory. it was nice to return to my performance roots, but it was even better to end the semester by airing out my personal frustrations to an audience.
grand staircases, wedding ceremonies and incredible scultpures. i'm a romantic, it's embarrassing but true.
